Verdicts In, You Need A Dog

I started with the title “5 Reasons You Need A Dog” – Got half way through and literally went “Hahahahahaha, 5, FIVE, cute Schae, reaaaal cute.”

Ya’ll know my love for dogs (if you don’t, hello, hi,  Schae, crazy dog lady checking in).

They are seriously the coolest animals that I can legally have in my house (…mission own a baby tiger underway though).

And here’s why:

1. They are always borderline ‘wee your pants’ happy – Seriously. Kaia doesn’t care if I’m holding a bone or sitting on the toilet awkwardly trying not to make eye contact because I was home alone and she was sleeping and I didn’t shut the door… (DO NOT EVEN LIE, THIS HAPPENS.) If I take one glance at her, her tail moves at the speed of fingers when I’m angry texting. (Females, holla. I know this is a blur for all of us).

2. Completely serious note, they help you connect with people. If I have Kaia with me, 70% of people make eye contact with me and smile. If I don’t, I may as well be walking with Miley Cyrus nip covers on. Kid’s are also more inclined to like you (even if you don’t like them so much, besides you Alana). Make friends, get a pup.

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Me and my bud’s with an actual human bud.

3. ^ This also helps you ween out the assholes. Yeah those ones that don’t make eye contact even when you’re basically smiling from 97 metres away and not wearing Miley Cyrus nip covers – I see you…

4. They help you forget momentarily. Even if its just an ear that’s flipped over and they look stupid, you forget about the world for a minute and just think about how ridiculous they look. (love you, Kaia.) They have an amazing ability to relieve stress.

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Dat ear.

5. They have the worlds cutest guilty faces. Yeah, you know those faces that you find it super hard to be mad at so you end up doing this “I’m so mad” *half smile* “NO, THIS IS NOT A DAMN SMILE.” *awkward mouth turning up resembling a smile… BUT TOTALLY NOT A SMILE, K*

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ZOOM IN.

6. Guys, this one is for you… They’re a total chick magnet. You want to meet some fully sick chicks (or not), get a dog (preferably fluffy type puppy) and take it for a long ass walk. Easy conversation starter and then you can suss out if they’re a dog person. If not, hair flick and walk away, man.

7. You literally feel like wonderwoman.  The amount of times I’m having a poopy day and I come home and Kaia looks at me like the sun is shining out my butt (not sure why there are so many poop references in this sentence, soz), its seriously hard to be a bad/upset human. Sometimes you need to look at yourself as if you were your dog, then take charge of the day, MUSH.

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Eyes of love.

8. They keep you accountable for the little things and can help change habits. If you don’t walk your dog and keep it inside, I’m sad for them (also call me, I’ll walk it for you.) Try get into the habit of walking them every day – It benefits you and them at the same time! Then you get into the habit of pooper scooping (lol, poop talk, again), filling up their water bowl, playing with them, these types of little things!

9. Even if you stink after the gym, most of the time they stink more than you. +1 for your self confidence.

10. They literally sniff other dogs bum-holes so you can stop thinking you’re totally weird for liking the smell of another HUMANS cologne as they walk past. Totally not weird.

11. Puppy dreams. So fucking funny its Snapchat storyboard worthy… And I don’t take that shit lightly.

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12. Puppy photos. #swoon.

13. Puppies trying to walk/catch a ball/eat/swim/meet other dogs/live until a year old.

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The first swim!

14. Did I mention they’re always happy and in return it gives you a crazy amount of happiness?

And why would we ever deny ourselves of that people!


Verdicts in, you need a dog.

… Or I need another 10.

All my poop filled sentences,

Schae X

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