I think that one of the biggest things that helps you reach a spot of self-love that we forget to mention sometimes, is learning to appreciate, compliment, and accept other women for who they are and what they’re good at.
It’s only natural for us to judge someone either by what they’re doing, wearing, how they look, how they act, etc.. I don’t think we have a whole lot of control over that aspect. BUT what we do have control over, and what I’ve come to realise is crucial in our relationship with ourselves, is what emotion and behaviour we allow to follow that judgement.
For so many years I would see other women who I perceived were doing or looked better than I did as a threat or competition, and I would treat them as such. That meant a negative attitude towards them, snide comments on occasion or completely ignoring them, hell I wouldn’t even like their fleeky as shit selfie on Instagram or Facebook due to my insecurities. And I honestly don’t think this behaviour is uncommon within our society today.
You see the thing with this is, and the thing I slowly came to figure out, is that if I couldn’t celebrate or appreciate others, I could never really be comfortable in myself as an individual and what I personally have to offer. I would never really be able to celebrate myself, nor would I ever be able to see the potential of two people utilising different skills together. It really does put you in a headspace that hinders your ability to tap into what makes you, YOU, and what you’re good at, because you are always distracted by how some other female is one up on you in this and that way.
So today I want to preach this…
As soon as you start to act negative towards someone, be extremely truthful and ask yourself why. Reflect upon that, and instead of letting it dictate your behaviour towards them in a negative fashion, COMPLIMENT. Compliment, encourage, and join in on the applause where it’s due. Because the truth of the matter is that there are going to be people out there who are better at certain things than you, who will lift heavier than you, or who are generally just naturally fucking beautiful. There is absolutely no way around that. So why act out of hatred when we are insecure instead of admiration? When has hatred towards another human being actually added to your life?
Slowly but surely, instead of comparing yourself all the time to these people who were originally a ‘threat’, you begin to see your differences as a source of positive reinforcement of your own self and individuality, and sometimes it’ll even provide an opportunity for change and growth through inspiration (you also begin to make some really cool, genuine friendships.)
SO like their fucking selfie. Ask their advice. Compliment them if they look hot as shit. Encourage their success, and never forget to celebrate one another even if it feels like it’s not really what you want to do. It can be hard to drop the feelings of jealously and our insecurities sometimes, but I promise you, it will add to your life, and theirs, in ways you can’t even imagine.
One of my great friends, Kate, who is possibly the kindest and wittiest person I know.
We in this together, yo.
As always, a whole lot of fun size love.